Everything began when i was in college, and i am looking for some kind of experience that have creativity, synergy and something out of ordinary. At that time i felt like a formal organization doesn’t suit me. I want to have what professional world feels like and doing projects, go to festivals and so on. Something that sounds fun and not too formal like an organization.
And then i chose event organizer as my activity. And worked there. It’s an eo, so i made events. I worked with people from the same place i used to live. Most of them are the extroverts. I should have known the nature of this kind of work are those kind of people. I was against my values. Tbh, i dont like those kind of people. Maybe because i am just a mere introvert so i feel a little bit uncomfortable working there. But then i reassure myself, it’s all for the sake of having working experience professionally.
Under the ‘family’ system, they didn’t seem like a family to me. But i keep being there. I struggled with the environment and the inconvenience. You know, actually i was happy being there, being a part of something and could have amazing and cool projects, the coolest in the university. But i just didn’t like the people i worked with.
Telling you what i felt? Hmm. I felt alienated. That’s the truth. Even though maybe they didn’t treat me like one but i did feel like that. I just felt different. But nobody seemed to care. I was the only one who worried. I felt like nobody like me, because we were just different. And for some kind of reason, i felt pressured. But on the outside, i pretended that i was okay.
Actually it’s all happened inside my mind, like an inner self conflict. As an introvert who struggles i tried to figure out everything. In the end, i keep struggling, and i didn’t quit. I started to tell myself that everything’s gonna be okay. And i started to NOT GIVING A F*CK LIKE HELL. Please. Nobody really cares, trust me. Nobody. Nobody cares that you felt alienated by yourself. That you hold different values and you live in a different environment. This is work, so you gotta work. In a professional world it’s all on you. They don’t care about you, they only care about your work.
You don’t need to feel weak, or different, cause nobody cares, baby. You are busy with your own mind. They played tricks on you. You just need to keep going by being your own self. Doesn’t matter what they are doing, what they say to you. Your contribution is the only thing that matters. So contribute, and stop thinking anymore. As an introvert who struggles those are the things i want tell you.
In the end, i met good friends. We are people with the same heart and soul, and i’m glad to have them. I was grateful that i didn’t quit. I’ve learnt so much.
The moral is, for you, from me. I quite understand that, for an introvert, meeting new people is not convenient at all. Moreover, you are working with them. But i always reassure myself that, the future is gonna be like this. You need to be professional. You can’t just hide forever, really. You need to show up, even not as frequent as the other extroverts. You dont need to be liked, you just gotta do what you want to do, and be what you want to be. You’ll eventually meet the people like you if you dare to try. With the same visions and ideas. Trust me. Try to open your heart to all the possibilties and keep the boat afloat.
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