An Existence and Social Media

Recently i’ve taken an interest about social media. My last lecture was also about social media, though in another perspective. Sometimes i think social media defines who you are. Some people maybe use it for self branding, makes it as an advantage for their lives. They use social media to sell themselves, in a creative way. Makes live your own passion. But on the other side, it creates your own existence.

An existence which is a self made existence. Through social media you are trying to perceive an existence. Wether it’s actually who you are, or not. Your likes, your post, your live, will define you. When you don’t post, especially in a long term basis people may think you just simply doesn’t exist  “there”. Maybe you are an introvert, socially awkward or an ignorant?. There’s just unidentifiable existence.

That goes the same with wherever you are. Having the urge to have some kind of post-able picture. You forgot to enjoy the moment, instead, been busy collecting moments. Places that gives you credits. Places to show that you’ve been there, fascinating towns, proving something. Another way is about people’s presence. Again, proving something by “show up to show off”. You show yourself up “there” just to prove an existence, that you are maybe a somebody. It defines your community, what you are doing, and the people you are working with. A social life. Strive for a chance to be featured on a post, expressing that you are exist. Is there really much more meaning for all of that? I wonder. I started to feel that social media creates existence, and it’s exhausting. Should we go on diet? Balance the oversharing habit, and overcurious about other’s life.

Words of the week: “Your deepest soul is your most dazzling charm”

I like to meet new people. For me, they are interesting cause they must have so many stories I haven’t know before. Personal curiosity, yes. Meeting new people, listening to their stories, are the best part of a new introduction. Their lives, their romance, and how they became someone like this now, everything has yet to be unveiled. On the other side, I have difficulties in maintaining relationship. I don’t like meddling in people’s lives, I don’t like tangled in a complicated relationship. I push people, after I pull them in my life. It’s more lke my ego. It’s hard to  comprehend, but it’s true.

But still, “your dazzling charm is your deepest soul”. I like when someone open themselves, they mean they trust me that much. Therefore, if there’s a person who unveil themselves to you, you shouldn’t break their trust. Moreover, be a good listener. Don’t judge them, accept them. When we listen to a  person’s story, it would mean much for them. Having someone who would listen to all your stories is a good thing, and we should be grateful for that. How we can relate to somebody, give empathy, and understand a person through their stories without judge them by they are. There must be some meaning behind an action, and without asking the truth, there will always be misperception.

Words of the week: “Wonder the Wonders”

Never-ending curiousity. Have you ever feel like everything is so magnificent, makes you never want to stop wondering?. Why does this happen, how, and what are those things?If you really look at it, you’ll find the beauty of all things, even behind the slightest things. If you really want to understand everything that you feel, everything that happened to you, teaches you. Everything that’s there, in front of you, teaches you. Be grateful for the beauty. Be grateful for the wonders.

Words of the week: “1000 miles, 1000 smiles”

When you are in a far away place, far from your hometown, your friends, your family, and your lover. So far it has been 1000 miles from there. When you live in another city, or even another country. You barely know anyone.

You found yourself being alone, and maybe yes it’s scary at first. But then you’ll meet new people, discovering new things, and other fascinating things. Doesn’t it make you happier? I mean, sometimes the distant scares you out, but there will be happiness in the end, like 1000 smiles waiting for you.

It’s not just the distant. It also applies to what you’ve been fighting for. The moment when you are walking. The moment when you are taking one step at a time. The moment  when you are trying. It’s hard, it doesn’t make sense. Makes you undoubtly thinking does it worth the fight? Does it worth the costs? I mean, the length of your journey, does everything work?

When you missed somebody, doesn’t it feel happier when you meet them, the longer you wait for them?.

The point is, why don’t we just embrace the moment?

Every little things. People, Places, Foods, everything.

Feel every second of your journey 🙂

Put that Hard Work on you

Sometimes you heard something like; hard work pays off, hard work never betrays you, and yet you think maybe we just really need to work harder. Sometimes then you’ll be thinking, why should i do hard work, is it really worth?, will it be payoff, and is it worth the fight?. And then you’ll meet some people with their own best of luck, they can get something without having to do hard work, without having the price to pay. Either a luck or, he/she just smart enough to “cheat”, and it doesn’t seem fair enough for you. Why should i be fighting something that doesn’t worth the fight?.

Even when you had done your hard work, will it even be respected? I mean, like i know respect it’s relative. But then, when someone really try to do their best, does it seems like best to you?. Some people will support your hard work, and the other will just laugh at your hardwork. I just don’t get society nowadays. When you intended to do your best like you’ll be judged as ambitious. Therefore sometimes we hide ourselves telling people that “no, i am not trying that hard it’s hillarious”. Being in the common. While maybe without they are knowing you really are trying your best. I just think that maybe it’s the fault of the society nowadays that doesn’t let us do whatever we want. Those who do hard work always seems pathethic like do you even need to go that far?. Feels like blaming yourselves for doing hard work. Makes you think twice about its worthiness.

Here i don’t mean to discourage people to do hard work. Then, how about doing hard in a cool way? Have you ever imagined that you are actually trying hard without their judgement? I never have the thought of doing hardwork in a cool way. Does being passionately living your life is a hard work in a cool way?. I like to hear your opinion about hard work in a  cool way. Feel free to comment!.

Go Get There!

Sometimes i feel like i am restraining myself to go to the point where i need to be there, like i should have finished some business and then i can finally go there. But then i think that maybe i was wrong all this time. “Evertyhing doesn’t need to be in line”

There are priorities, but it doesn’t mean you need to wait for everything that you want just because you have priority. The secret is, everything can happen together and we can make it happen!

If you want to get to some point, you don’t need to go all the way through to get there. There should be some kind of shortcut where you actually know that you need to get there, without having to meddling in the middle of the way. Just get there!

Information Anxiety and the Dilemma of Values

Sometimes there are the feelings when you are a muslim but in the other side, you are also an international relations student. This subject requieres you to be open minded, as wide as possible. But then you have your values, your faith in your religion, what it has been thaught you as a person. Basic principles, and life guidelines. I mean it’s not should be a hindrance in your process, but then sometimes i think that all the process of thinking is not value free. For me, there is anxiety when i read something, a source that i need to rely on, but then there must be bias, no matter what it is. And yet we need to rely on that, because they, i mean common people regard it as a fact. Wether it’s actually counterfactual or not, we may never know. The power relatives in discourse.

You should be glad when actually you have a conservative family. They would filter the facts for you. As a person who should see everything in many perspectives, it won’t be enough. In my opinion, it happens most when there is a, political situation, let’s call it an election, and then one of them representing your religion values, and then the other side talking about realities and facts, calling for people that we should not be bias because of our religion. When you choose the conservative, then you are a radical, and when you choose the other you are a sinner, they said. For me, values come first. Wether you choose to be a secular, it’s your choice. Political preference is a freedom. But i do hope that people respect more. Stop sharing hate comments about each candidate, in my opinion it’s disrespectful. You can criticize, but don’t spread the hate, spread the love instead.

Words of the week: “Impostor Syndrome in Decline”

Why impostor syndrome tough?

Actually, it doesn’t mean that you are an impostor and you have the syndrome of being an impostor. I mean, a syndrome that somebody really like to deceive anybody. No, not like that. Try to look it up on search engine, like google and i found:

Impostor Syndrome : A concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to  internalize their accomplishments and persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.

Maybe it’s a concept to describe, a highly used word of a thing. I just want to relate it in a simple term. It’s just i take it as someone who has actually accomplished things that she wanted but then she felt like it was nothing. So she still feel that she has done nothing and incapable.

Have you ever feel like that? The kind of feeling that what you’ve done actually isn’t enough. It’s not big enough, it’s not good enough, it’s just never enough. Anything, everything. You always strive, trying to do good, to have something good, in return for your satisfaction. It can be anything like homeworks, life goals, relationships, and even to-do list. But then, anything that you ask for, just never be satisfying,  it’s just not enough. Wether it’s your goal, or something that you want so badly. You would do anything for that. But then it’s just not enough. Anything that you do.

You end up disappointed. You never feel like you accomplished something, regarding whatever you are doing. You always dream, at first, if i could do that. If i could have done these things. Then okay i will try to do this, and then you actually did it. But then i feel that i did it  just because of the necessity that i need. Because i need to do that. It’s not satisfying, it was burden. I accomplished a burden, and it was not fun.

I feel like i have an impostor syndrome. I try my best to accomplish things that i intend to do. I too am a procastinator. I set up a goal, something that i thought it was necessary for me, for my future because i am a future-oriented person. I wanted to do a thing, and actually did it a month later, like it’s so lazy just to get the f* things done. Finally i did what i said, patiently i learned that thing bit by bit. But then i never felt satisfied by that. I thought it was only necessary for me to do that, so i did that thing. But i never felt like it was enjoyable, it was burden. And then i tried to change that goal, not because it is necessary for me, for the sake for my future but it is something that i want. I’m not trying to tell that having future-oriented goals is a mistake, but it will get you to that point sometimes, but it doesn’t mean to give it up. For me, it was better when i decided to change that, and it works, i feel livelier than before. That’s why i said in decline, because i feel that i’m still making that kind of goals, the future-oriented goals which i feel it is a necessity.

Well actually half ot that, half of me start to cry actually i umm, yes. Most of all i feel so grateful for you guys, for letting me. For letitng me experience things.and all those kind of life. I started to ditch everything that i believe. Like, everything. Started from my korean, my current condition regarding accomplishment and love life, they are striking me. My goals and the ralization they are striking. Like again why? I need to realize just what do iwant, wat i really want. In a contradiction to your idealization, what do you want,, most of all things. But then still, i dont want to give up, like anything. I dnt want to give them up. I love them. My aspiration, my dreams, my necessity. But i never enjoy you. I always feel like you are a burden to me. A burden that i neever be able to accomplish like NO MATTER WHAT I TRY AND WHAT I DO. They are just. A mere, necessity. That i created for the sake pf my blurry future. And i still haven’t fund the answer about what should i do, what i need to do later. And then start to ditch. I feel that maybe i need a break. Of everything. Of them, of you, of my own  mind. My own idealiszation. I told her, i am tred of you. I want to find my own happiness, and i think its not in your way of ife.