No Relationship Discourse?

Being in a relationship is a choice. Wether or not you want to have someone in your life, and share your time with them. That goes the same with being single. Here what i mean for being single is not never to marry anyone, but to be with your own self and not in a relationship with having a boyfriend/girlfriend. For me, being single is my choice and it’s actually funny. While most of the people commit themselves to a relationship and they do because they need it, myself here always wonder just what is the point of having a relationship cause i couldn’t see it as a need.

I am in my 20s, a legal age to have a marriage in my country, and it has been 7 years since i am being single. When i am with my friends or meet new people, they mostly talk about relationship. Do you have a boyfriend?, and how was him etc etc… . At first i don’t really like that kind of topic and feel troubled whenever my friends start it but, as i said before maybe i’m just an introvert who struggles, i tried adapting myself by engaged in conversation. Maybbe at first they will ask just do i have one or why i don’t have anyone, and it surprised them. Romance story is always interesting, isn’t?.

Whenever i answer that i am single, their reactions are differ. The elders mostly agree about my choice of being single in this age. “While you are still young, you should explore more, live your passion and always strive to learn. Some of them even directly say that we just need to study hard and no need to think about relationship at all. Your mate will eventually find you. Maybe i somehow agree with that. One of the reason i don’t like to be busy by something that doesn’t matter much for me, and i don’t like being troubled by relationship. Moreover, i think i still want to chase my life goals kind of thing, so relationship is not my priority. Sometimes they say something like this, “ it’s rare to find youngster like you these days”, and i’d be like, rare, huh. Somehow i like how they refer me as something rare, especially i am that kind of people who  don’t like being the same as others, and i too am looking for someone who is the same like me. But in the end, the elders tried to encourage me, to open up my heart, and not be so strict about my criteria. “Because you just won’t know who might it be”, they said.

Those who are around my age instead saying something like it was my fault, that i am too much looking for an idealization, or maybe i’d been hurt in the past, and this or that. Trust me because i am a little bit attractive (:p) (a little bit, not that much haha) so it’s hard to understand just why i am still single because in fact, there are several guys who tried to hit on me but maybe like i said before i am just an introvert who struggles, and i really embrace my solitude, so their presences weren’t strong enough to defeat it. And for the idealization part, i may say that it’s not entirely true but also it’s not wrong. I just laugh when they said something like that. My close friends even bother trying to ship me with someone else, and always givin me more and more dating advices. Hahaha sometimes i found it’s really funny.

In my opinion, the concept of being single is varied, depends on how you want to understand it. Being single sometimes related as being independent, especially for women, and i don’t think i am like that. I am quite dependent on people but i don’t think that having relationship is a necessary thing. So, i don’t agree with the concept of independent single ladies. As i realized it later, i am just a kind of person who tend to push people. I always assure myself that i can do everything by myself, even though in fact, i need support and help from people. Therefore, i pushed people so hard, and not allowed them to get close to me, or knew me any further. And about being single is lonely, i don’t think it’s right but, i do admit that i somehow lonely. I don’t have any specific people that always being there for me when i need someone to hear all of my thoughts and feelings, whenever i want. But that’s what family and friends are for, what else do we need?. Moreover, i just don’t like the idea, someone other than me has the most authority of my time, since i am just that selfish. I want to do anything that i want. I like doing random things, something that most people find it boring, and my taste is just slightly different. If i can find someone with the same hobby and passion like me then it would be so much fun i guess, so i need to find him along my journey and i’m sure i will find him.

I am, an introvert who struggles and just want to be myself and be with my own self for this time. It’s not that easy though. What other people saying and what has been there, in my environment, most people talk about having a relationship goals, and it’s everywhere like in the social media. How sometimes i envy these people, but then i never seem to accept those conditions of a relationship. I’m always saying to myself that, i may not need it now. Sometimes i  wonder, do people having relationship so they can have something like social status, or so you can boast about your relationship in social media?. No offense though, it’s just me wondering.

I didn’t say that being in a relationship is a wrong thing. Most people find their psychological supports from their loved ones, and it s normal. I admit that is a good point of having a relationship. You can support and help each other in any kind of situation. I just want to say that, whatever way you choose, weheter you want to be single or not, it s up to you. If you are with the -no women- like meghan trainor and me, that means we are in the same boat. There is no need to feel insecure or even inferior to others just because you’re not in a relationship. Enjoy your decision, do anything that you like. But still, don’t close your heart too thight. We should be ready for whatever is coming and have faith. Strive to be a better yourself, the choosen one will eventually come to your life.


“Daisy” – Kyoukai no Kanata ending

Created by STEREO DIVE FOUNDATION English Translation
Seijaku wo kirisaku you otozureta no wa
Hitsuzen to shite no kaikou bokura no tame ni
Koukai wo nageku me ni utsuru kimi wa sou
Urei wo matotte utsukushiku saita
The arrival, tearing the silence into pieces,
Was a predestined encounter for our sake.
And so, you, with regret showing in your grieving eyes,
You wore your sorrow and bloomed beautifully.
Dareka no seimei ni tokeru hana
Nee kimi ni mo mieru darou
A flower, dissolving into someone’s life –
Hey, you can see it too, can’t you?
I’m sure.
Kasaneta ayamachi nurikaeru you
Nando demo ii sa kurikaeshite iku SUTAATO RAIN
Kako to wa chigau asu wo
Futari dake no kibou egaku SUTAATO RAIN
I never say good bye
Itsu datte sou sa
To overwrite the accumulated sins,
You’ve got as many times as you need, from the repeating start line.
Painting a tomorrow different from the past,
Painting hope for just the two of us, there’s the start line.
I never say goodbye…
That’s how it always is.
Keizoku shite iku shoumei to shite no kesshou
Honoka ni yureru hi wo yadoshite
Kousai wo hanatsu mirai yakitsuketa kimi no me wa sukoshi kanashisou de
Take a look into my eyes
Saigo no hitoshizuku wo nugutte
Every time you wanna see call me
Saisho ni deatta ano basho de sa
Continuing crystals to serve as proof,
Sheltering a faintly flickering flame,
Your eyes, emblazoned with a future radiating brilliance, seem to hold a little bit of sadness.
Take a look into my eyes.
Wipe away that final droplet.
Every time you wanna see me, call me,
And I’ll be at the place where we first met.
Chiriyuku unmei ni aragatte
Sou azayaka ni sakihokore
Rebel against the fate that descends.
Yes, bloom vibrantly, with glory.
Kimi no utau koe to tsunagaru you
Kokoro no oku narihibiita boku no ne
Inori ni ukabu asu wa
Ikiru imi wo kibou ni kaeru kara
I wanna be with you
“To connect to your singing voice,
My sound rings out and echoes deep within my heart.
The tomorrow that surfaces in my prayer
Transforms a reason to live into hope.
I wanna be with you…
Nido to wa nai ima no genjitsu wo
Te ni ireru tame no gisei nante
Kesshite kodoku to ketsubetsu shikirenai
Ima no boku ni hakarenai
Sore demo ii nda
Hibikiwatare inori yo
Kodama suru bokura no utagoe
Issun no hikari wo egaita
Terashidasu ichirin no hana yo
Kimi to futari te wo tsunaide
Zutto itai nda
To make a sacrifice to gain possession of
This present reality, impossible to repeat –
The act is unbreakably bound to loneliness.
I can’t measure that weight as I am now,
But even so, that’s fine.
Echo far and wide, my prayer.
Our reverberating singing voices
Painted a momentary light,
Illuminating a single flower.
I want to keep our hands connected
And always be with you.
Kasaneta ayamachi nurikaeru you
Nando demo ii sa kurikaeshite iku SUTAATO RAIN
Kako to wa chigau asu wo
Futari dake no kibou egaku SUTAATO RAIN
I never say good bye
Itsu datte sou sa
To overwrite the accumulated sins,
You’ve got as many times as you need, from the repeating start line.
Painting a tomorrow different from the past,
Painting hope for just the two of us, there’s the start line.
I never say goodbye…
That’s how it always is.

Source :

*PS : I don’t really like Kyoukai no Kanata, but i found that this song’s lyric is beautiful, in my personal opinion, it is kinda like a poem that’s why i love this song!

“Tokyo Ravens” HarutoraxNatsume – My First Anime Review

First of all, This is the first time i made an anime review, and this is also my first post then i decided to make a review about Tokyo Ravens that i had watched it recently.

Tokyo Ravens, an anime about Onmyoji’s, magic and romance.This show takes place in Japan with world that magic plays major role in it, there are laws to regulate using magic, schools that teach it, onmyo agency that acts as police force to keep magic issues under control. The main character in the story is Harutora, young man who was born from a prestigious Onmyoji family, the Tsuchimikado bloodline, but he cannot see “spirit power”. However, his childhood friend and also his cousin, Natsume, which is a girl of the head family was rumored to be the rincarnation of A genius onmyoji and visionary who had appeared in the midst of the Great Pacific War and would be known as the father of modern Onmyoudo, Yakou Tsuchimikado.

Basically, i really enjoy the supernatural-romance genre, but this is the first time i watched a supernatural genre with Onmyōdō as the strongest point of the storyline. Honestly, i like all aspects of the story. The art is pretty good, the animation and the characters pretty well-defined rather than in the manga. The sounds from the show are quite decent and i feel like somehow they are fitting to each moments in the scenes. The first impression i had from the preceeding episodes is the relations of the hero and the heroine are quite interesting even it is still classic,


but i will watch it till the end (some people said they dropped it in the first half of the story coz it sucks) even i started to feel he was a dense-and-kind type of guy with the girls in his harem (because i don’t really like that kind of development).

But what makes me keep watching it is because of the heroine. I really love Natsume (despite one of my favorite seiyuu is her character’s seiyuu ). I feel like her feelings for Harutora was so sincere and beautiful. She went as far as made a Shikigami called Hokuto, so she coud be near Harutora and gave him support to be an onmyo mage eventhough he didn’t know it was her.


And above all, half of the story have big developments especially episode 20 when everything felt like turned upside down. The truth came out here. At first, i had thought about the possibilities of Harutora might be the real reincarnation of Yakou, so it wasn’t shocked me that much. But, Natsume died with the heroic action by saving harutora’s life was something and an unimaginably development (I watched this episode until several times!). The overall story almost explained here as the twist started.


The insert song for this episode is amazingly beautiful. The song helped me feel the sincerity of Natsume’s feelings for Harutora. It really was so beautiful and sincere. Then she finally able to convey her feelings for Harutora with the same sorrowful situation as Hokuto.


And once again, Harutora lost his precious childhood friend

tokyo ravens 2 20
And once again, Harutora lost his precious childhood friend

In the final episode, finally, Natsume revived from the death and opened her eyes (in her dreams). There was Harutora, sitting beside her ♥


haruxnatsu kiss
A kiss…
tokyo-ravens go
And a farewell…
So it was a dream… Why does it feel so real?

In the end, It’s sweet yet it’s bittersweet. The twist just started. By Harutora’s leaving, those two are going in their different way.

After all those sweet scenes, why Harutora must leave and abandoned her? what’s the point of reviving her in the first place?. These questions make me curious so bad then desperately looking for the spoilers. Because of the anime is ahead than the manga, so i couldn’t find any spoiler for this except from the continuation of its light novel. So if you are curious about what will happen next, the 10th volume of the light novel has its answers.

I wish Harutora and Natsume will end up together in the end. and for Tokyo Ravens itself, i really hope for season 2 because it really was a great story and oh man, the tiwst just began!!!